Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road...
I was called a weird boy two nights ago.
Not in a particularly nice tone,
not in a particularly mean one either.
I sat on this quite literally for 10 minutes
,after watching a brainless movie at the Avalon with the majority
of people who read this, on my couch at home in my basement.
I listened to the water dribble in my fish tank that I haven't regularly maintained
since I set it up while staring at a screw that used to hold one of the skateboards my older brother had worn down when he was still interested in skateboarding.
I am now running my hands through my wax filled hair.
I am now starting to feel my toes get a little cold.
I am now thinking did that opening line to this blog totally undermine everything written after it?
I am now thinking why is blogging considered a legitimate form of self expression and self examination.
Is weird bad?
Was going to a grade 7 dance and staring at the disco light for two hours because I said I could do it and knowing full well no-one would dance with the weird kid effective at all as a protest? Did the neck cramp that followed for two days worth the attempt at fitting in with a crowd best left unfitted worth it?
Why fit in at all?
with anyone?
I am thinking does this blog fit in with blogging?
Should I have put this in pen and paper? would that make it a more legitimate self reflection?
Or is this another chance for me to stare at a dangling light for two hours while my neck gets sore?
I am thinking will this mean anything more to anyone besides myself?
Will it cause self reflection in the reader? Will it cause comments like,
"if you need to talk?"
I would talk if I needed to.
I am thinking a blog is time for me to talk to myself.
And I don't think I am very weird.
I am thinking this blog is done.
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3 comments:
It made me contemplate the whole idea of fitting in and come to the conclusion that roughly as long as one defines what is oneself should fit into I think its worth the attempt. As others definitions of what mold to fit into are ambiguous and often convoluted, meaning it would just be like the slow kid at daycare, attempting to shove the star block into the square space he's just repeating cyclic and irresolute and erroneous actions. I could be wrong. Somehow I feel by commenting on this blog I validate something sinister. Oh well. I can't sleep..... and my word verification is leadluke so worth it.
I think it's best to do whatever makes you happy. If people dub you weird for doing what makes you happy well that's their problem not yours. If i've learned anything in my life its that being happy with yourself is much more rewarding then trying to please everyone else.
you are awesome! weird or not, whose to say?
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