post apocolyptic posting

Chairman: HULLO!
Board of directors: We are eager and awaiting your next announcement it must be suitably delicious.
Chairman: DELICIOUS IT WILL BE MY FELLOW SQUIDULAR ATTACK BEASTS!*
Board of directors: (tentacles slap happily across their faces, much like a happy dogs jowls at the arrival of it's food dish creating a wet slapping sound. Their globular eyes form upwards half crescents in sheer ecstatic delight)
Chairman: (Pleased with the build he has created within his audience yet tentative to fully penetrate into the climax of informational frustration that has been carefully constructed with obnoxiously loud shouting) IT IS TIME TO PUT FORTH THE AGENDA!
Board of directors: Lather us with your thick oily agenda and coat us with it's terms
Chairman: TOMORROW THE TARGET* RECEIVES HIS FIRST LESSON IN A SERIES OF TRAINING ATTEMPTS SPANNING THE COURSE OF ONE MONTH. AFTER OF WHICH IT IS ASSUMED HE WILL BE AWARDED A PERMIT ENABLING HIM TO FREELY TRAVEL AS HE PLEASES WITH MINIMAL LIMITATIONS
Board of directors:( A thick juicy spurt squirts onto the table in a stream of phlegm originating from a directors head. He dies instantly. The cause is pinned on a rogue doughnut in the coffee room, despite the timing in relation to information that the directer had just received. His fellow directors descend upon his limp cooling corpse and recycle his nutrients in a matter of moments)
Chairman: NOT QUITE THE REACTION I HAD PLANNED BUT ONE A MILKY WAY GALAXY MORE EXCITING. I PLANETARY DIGRESS. HE HAS ALSO CANVASED HIS ARM IN A SUBSTANCE SIMILAR TO YOUR FACE DISCHARGE. WE PLAN THE TARGET TO HAVE COMPLETED HIS SKIN DEFACEMENT BY THE 13TH OF MARCH. THIS WILL CONFUSE AND SEGREGATE THE ENEMY!*
Board of directors: (Squid happily, black gooey circles stain their 2-3 button suits)
CHAIRMAN: I CALL THIS MEETING TO A CLOSE, WE'LL MEET AGAIN SHORTLY PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR COMPANY POSTS. (Chairman disappears into thick brown cloud, when it clears the chairman is gone. It can be assumed he is licking old books around town to spread his germs to the angry pseudo intellectuals)
Board of directors: (taking the suit of the fallen director they begin the regrowth process of a new director inside a tube of pure genetically modified gummy bears. Sentient to the point of knowing they are going to die)

1* work that into as many sentences as you can, I know I have.
2*Myself
3*Various stray vagabonds and hipsters